Παρασκευή, Μαρτίου 31, 2006

Χωρκάτικον Είναι....2006 Εdition

Όλοι ξέρουμε τα γνωστά one liner ανέκδοτα του τύπου "Χωρκάτικον είναι ... να στέλνεις τον γιό σου καράτε."
Το μπλόγκ προσθέτει τα δικά του χωρκατιλλίκκια για μια μοντέρνα αναβάθμιση. Απολογίες στους Ελλαδίτες αναγνώστες.

Χωρκάτικον είναι...

-να έσιεις βίτεο του Τσιουπή στο μόπαϊλ σου.
-να κλείνεις ραντεβού για να πάεις Στάρμπακς.
-να πηγαίνεις κκάμπινγκ στην Πόλη Χρυσοχούς.
-να έσιεις αυτοκόλλητο του "ΟΧΙ" και του "ΝΑΙ" πάνω στο αυτοκίνητο σου.
-να σιέρεσαι που η φιλενάδα σου ξιουρίζει το μ..... της.
-να είσαι αρσενικός τζιαι να κάμνεις χαλάουα τες τρίχες σου το καλοκαίρι.
-να είσαι αρσενικός τζιαι να νομίζεις ότι εν ππουστλίκκι να κάμνεις χαλάουα τες τρίχες σου το καλοκαίρι.
-να νομίζεις ότι είσαι open minded γιατί έσιεις φίλους τουρκοκύπριους.
-να είσαι ανάμιση μέτρο τζιαι να γοράζεις μοτόρα γιατί έσιεις κκόμπλεξ.
-να συζητάς με παρέα σου τζιαι άμα περνά μια όμορφη κυπραία να σχολιάζεις "εσάσαν οι Κυπραίες"
-να πηγαίνεις να ακούσεις όπερα στην Πάφο αλλά να μεν σου αρέσκει η όπερα.
-να είσαι του "προσθέστε το όνομα του αγαπημένου σας cafe".
-να είσαι γεναίκα τζιαι να παίζεις πιλόττα όπως τον αρσενικό.
-να είσαι αρσενικός τζιαι να σε περιπαίζουν οι παρέες σου που δεν ξέρεις πιλόττα.
-να δέρνεσαι μες το πανεπιστήμιο Κύπρου για τις κομματικές παρατάξεις.
-να γοράζεις ΤV Μανία για να δκιαβάσεις τες μαλακίες που γράφουν οι κλαμούρηδες στο Σταύρου.
-να είσαι δικηγόρος (ή Λευκωσιάτης γενικότερα) τζιαι να πηγαίνεις μόνο στο ΝΑΥΣΙΚΑ για μπάνιο
-να κόφκεις που τη Χώρα για να πάεις Πλην Δύο.
-να είσαι Λεμεσιανός τζιαι να νομίζεις πως το Haagen Danzs εν το καλύτερο πράμα που έτυχε.
-να υποστηρίζεις συγκεκριμένο μητροπολίτη για τις αρχιεπισκοπικές.
-να είσαι ψαροτουφεκκάς γιατί εν "ιν"
-να παραγγέλεις μιλώντας εγγλέζικα στο Costa και στο Σταρμπακς.
-κάθε τετάρτη και πέμτη νύχτα να είσαι Σφηνάκια τζιαι στο πατάρι του Λε Κκαφέ
-να είσαι που χωρκό της επαρχίας Λευκωσίας τζιαι να πηγαίνεις Μπλίνκερς.
-γενικά να πηγαίνεις Μπλίνκερς.
-να φκάλλεις γεναίτζες που το ίντερνετ.
-να λαλείς πως γαμιέσαι μες το στρατό.
-να βουράς τον κάθε ντί τζεϊ πουπίσω γιατί είσαι της Τράνς!
-να είσαι γυναίκα τζιαι το πρώτο σου αυτοκίνητο να είναι toyota starlet τζαι να το αποκαλείς "το σταρλεττούι μου".
-να πηγαίνεις γυμναστήριο τζιαι να μιλάς με τις γεναίτζες αντί να γυμνάζεσαι.
-να κάμνεις ποδηλασία τζιαι να φορείς ασκήσιμο παντελονούι.
-να είσαι γυναίκα, να σε σταματά η αστυνομία τζιαι να χαμογελάς του αστυνομικού να μεν σε γράψει.
-να σπουδάζει εξωτερικό τζιαι να σου φταιν οι πάντες και τα πάντα στην κύπρο.
-να μεν παραδέχεσαι ότι έσιεις δονητή.
-να δηλώνεις "ελείψαν οι γεναίτζες/άντρες που την Κύπρο".


τούτα ρε κοπέλια για σήμερα. έχουμεν τζιαι δκιαβάσματα.

Comments:
Agapiti Panayiota, 8a elega ke go to idio gia to camping...mono pou ego den exo parapono apo tis toualettes gia autonoitous logous:)
Oso gia to Starlettoui re firfiri...eglepe:) giati an to ma8i ena tin eshis pas tin kkelle sou:)
 
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Παναΐα μου ίντα χώρκατος είμαι. Πάω κάμπινγκ στην Πόλη, λαλώ "εσάσαν οι Κυπραίες", εν γοράζω εγώ το TV Mania αλλά κάθε Σάββατο που πάω τουαλέττα διαβάζω τες επιστολές στον Σταύρου, τζαι ΕΝ ΕΧΩ ΔΟΝΗΤΗ, χα χα χα χα.
 
Ήταν να γράψω τζιαι εγώ για το camping αλλά επρολάβαν άλλοι (θα παρατηρηθεί συνωστισμός φέτος). Θα πιντώσω ένα:

Χωρκάτικον είναι ... να έσιεις blog:)
 
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kai to camping einai kalytero apo tis (omolwgoumenws panakribes) diakopes se kapoio ksenodoxeio ellhnikou nhsiou
 
Kai gw den exw doniti... kai dystyxws i eytyxws einai ali8eia...eimai xwriata giauton ton logo diladi? E pote... kai gw pou nomiza sta xwria einai pou xreiazontai tous donites oxi sto londino kai stin 8essaloniki...kai fantazomai oute kai stin kypro...
 
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eimai mia atherapefti xoriatissa:P
 
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PS: Όποιος θέλει, να δώσει το σύνθημα.
 
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Se mia fasn evas filos epirev miav Irish-American filevada sti Kypro tze epiev sto camping tis polns yia va mivouv 2-3 nmeres mesa sto 15 augousto. Avtikrise me deos to camping gemato diplokampiva me avixtes tes portes yia va akouete n mousiki pou ntav idi sto diapasov, pou tiv kapviav twv soublwv ev e8ores pavw pou 10 metra tze paourkes tou tipou "Kostakiiii ela gliora va faeis to sandwich sou...". Rota tze o pareas tiv mikroula Amerikava, 'what do you think?' tze apavta tze tzivi me eva aga8o ufos "cute..."
 
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